The Beginning of That Long Awaited Blog

People have been asking me to put together a blog.  Years ago I was cast in a high school rendition of My Turn on Earth and the song I had to learn was about writing my own story.  I've been dragging my feet and am now playing with the idea because I need a space to jot down everything I think, feel and want to write about.  I'm the one that gets to write my own story. I've always been a journal keeper and so this also gives me license to record for my own posterity snippets and stories.  So for the first entry, if you aren't on my Facebook where I divulge everything but the kitchen sink, I'm going to try and put into a nutshell who I am, what I value most and why following this blog might be interesting. 

First and foremost I am Chris' wife. I take great pride in being his wife. It is my second go around into wife-dom. If it is possible to be married twice to the love your life than I've lucked out both times.  It's been a marvelous experience to be married to two completely different men. Vaughn was my first love and gave me every single romantic dream I could ever hope for.  He was simple humility, courageous love and such a beautiful soul. We were married for three and a half years before the savage cancer took him from me. His legacy can be seen quite clearly and lovingly in the lives of our three daughters Vaunelle, Meleane and Marie. It is so amazing at how life's twists and turns make this mortality so interesting.  We have some great memories and often I will refer to them as a way to keep them alive for me and for our daughters. When the girls were babies, and after Vaughn passed away, I moved to Tonga and met Chris. One of these days I hope to write about the experience of caring for Vaughn as he finished his work on earth. It is very personal and very sacred and was one of the defining moments of my life. I fought Vaughn until the day he died as he would try to "talk" about what would happen after he passed away and how I would move on. He promised me, and I held him to it and saw it happen, that he would find a way to ensure I would be happy. How true that promise was when I met Chris. They are without a doubt night and day in terms of personality, likes, habits, and the way they love.  The one common thread is an abiding, true, and faithful love for God. I knew this on first impression with Vaughn and immediately felt it when I first met Chris. I joke about getting into the gates of heaven by just saying, "I'm with them!" I'm a huge networking guru and shmoozer - this is the biggest "get" to date.  I love them both so deeply and have become the best of me because of them. Second I am the proud blackhawk helicopter mother of 5 beautiful children: Vaunelle, Meleane, Marie, Kuulei and Chris. They are my heart's joy! Third, I am sister/teacher/friend to so many others. My relationships are very important to me and they make me feel alive. 

I'm also an old soul in many ways. There's a little bit of crazy, OCD, over controlling, super organizing freak-a-zoid in me and I am working on all of my odd bits.  I am always classifying things and for this instance I put what I value most into the "absolutely love" "kinda like" "obsessed over" "working it" "will consider" categories.  I love the gospel with all my heart. It means everything to me. It brings me great fulfillment and ultimate joy. I find my bearings, my hope and my spiritual footing when I am aligned with the gospel. That doesn't mean I'm fanatic and it certainly means I'm far from perfect and anxiously engaged in trying each day to do right by Him, and my children because if there's one thing I know for sure - it is the true constant despite the many hiccups, trials and changing circumstances.  I absolutely adore my 5 children. I must have done something really good to have been chosen to be their mother. When I look at their lives and the joy they have brought into my heart and life, I cannot describe how blessed I feel.  You'll hear much about the ups and downs of mothering and the pains of mistakes as well as the scores when I feel like I've achieved something magnificent in my own universe.  Most who know me know I have a little obsession with Dwayne Johnson, good food sampling and heels. I've had celebrities to meet on my bucket list and The Rock is someone I have yet to meet. I love his rags to riches story and the poly connection makes him more relevant to me than someone like Bill Gates. I kinda like window shopping, watching movies, kettle corn and obsessive cleaning, writing and speaking. As for the working it category, perhaps this quote puts it best "everything you touch turns to gold!" It's not me tooting my horn - it's just the way I am, work, function, think, will be and succeed. I am always telling my students that if you can find your place in this world doing what you love best what you are best at with the best of them than you have really got the Midas touch. Finally, I will consider being more patient as I recover, being less demanding on people around me, rising from illness, disappointments and personal failures, and just to keep things exciting...maybe consider travelling outside of my comfort zone preferably to the glass bottomed resorts in Tahiti.

So follow along if you will. I make a huge disclaimer and say up front, I don't know it all but I feel it all. This is just me, my safe space and the one part of my universe I can write about.  I will write about everything and anything. Hopefully some of it may be relevant, inspiring, funny, hopeful, heartbreaking and real.